Dirty Little Secret

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My New, Improved Answer

September 12, 2007 · 4 Comments

Sometimes, when people ask me what I do all day, I say “smoke crack.” It embarrasses them and makes me giggle. (Okay, I only said it once, but I’ve been planning on saying it again). Cherann on Confessions a Former Bookworm calls it “the proverbial question.” I once read a great detailed answer on My Mommy’s Place (I can’t remember where, but read Leslie anyway because she’s really funny). And then someone asked Hubby what I did all day. He was flabbergasted - he gets to hear about ALL the things I do ALL DAY in great detail. He answered something about chasing toddlers.

When he mentioned the story to me, I told him my struggle with answering the question. So he suggested I write it out (it’s the only way to get me to remember anything) and here we are.

Annoying Person: So, what do you DO all day?

Me: Well, of course I get up whenever I feel like it, as I never feel like listening to yelling or crying. Then I take a long, leisurely shower (point to dirty ponytail) and dress in designer clothing (gesture grandly at jeans and t-shirt). I eat a quiet, healthy breakfast (look at hips) while reading about current events (lift up bag of new children’s books). The maid cleans the kitchen (point to self) and the nanny keeps the children entertained (point to self). Then I srtoll to a nature preserve (point to playground and stroller) to reflect upon the complexities of the world (gesture towards yelling children). Sometimes I do some personal shopping (hold up bag of Goldfish) and I return home to do some culinary experimentation (hold up an Ironflower acceptable sandwich). Then, of course, the maid and the nanny take over so I can do some writing. Yes, I do a bit of writing - nothing, of course, that could occupy me all day every day. After the nanny (again, point to self) puts the children down for naps and the maid (again, point to self) does the day’s cleaning activity, then I read a book. Yes, a book. I read books. That could occupy me all day every day too. When’s the last time you read a book?

Do y’all think that’s too snotty?

Categories: mommy · parenting · stay-at-home moms · toddlers

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