First of all, an apology to everyone who has left me comments lately that I have not replied to - I promise I’m going to try. My rapidly worsening cold is making life difficult. Also, thank you to Marci for being nice enough to tag me, I would do the crazy 8’s meme again if I felt at all creative. But all I feel is grouchy. And achy.
Today was “Trunk or Treat” at Ironflower’s school. All the parents decorate their trunks and pass out candy or whatever to the kids, who are led through by their teachers. Naturally, I felt like our trunk was inadequately decorated because dropping two hundred bucks for Halloween decorations for our CAR is not only out of our price range, it’s out of our sanity range. I tried to get over myself, but Lovebug made it difficult. He would not stop screaming.
Nothing made him happy. Thank Goddess Hubby was there and able to parent Ironflower - take photos of the costume parade, pass out the candy, change her out of her costume and bring her back to class because all I did was try to deal with the screaming Lovebug. Oh, and not stick my tongue out at the woman parked next to us.
Her name is Missy and she’s the ultimate Alphamom. She’s the one who snidely referred to one of the sign-up sheets I’d made for Ironflower’s class as “unneccessary and overachieving” (this from a woman who wrote out copy for all of the class parents to use at our beginning of the year parent meetings). When I volunteered that the sign up sheet was mine and that I’d thought I was following policy, she was condescendingly conciliatory.
Ever since then, she gives me a pitying smile whenever she sees me. So when she saw me with the screaming Lovebug, she tried to help by offering a stroller and suggesting his teeth might hurt. As if we hadn’t thought of that? I tried to tell myself that I was being paranoid and concentrated on Lovebug. We strolled away from the trick-or-treating avenue.
Now, I have to admit that what happened next is partially my fault. Hearing from other moms about how they were making treat BAGS and passing out PlayDough, I sort of panicked when choosing what to pass out. I didn’t have the budget, inclination or time to make 60 treat bags for Ironflower’s classmates. So I bought a huge bag of many different kinds of treats, thinking that the kids could pick their favorites. Well, two of the items in the bag had peanuts. And we are a peanut-free school. Ooops. So Missy confiscated the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups from Hubby and gave him some of her own tattoos (we actually still had enough candy, but whatever).
I felt stupid and embarrassed. Missy kept sighing and shaking her head at us, and/or whispering about us with the mom in the car on the other side. Lovebug kept screaming. I tried to get pictures of Ironflower trunk-or-treating. I felt even worse when I saw that practically everyone was passing out treat bags or treat cups of stuff. Hubby just calmly passed out candy.
Before leaving, we thanked Missy. Hubby was a little sarcastic about it, in defense of my honor. But I cut him off. I felt like I had really screwed up and deserved her derision (this time).
After Hubby went to work and we finished lunch, we went through Ironflower’s treats. (The treat bags are immediately confiscated by the parents after trunk-or-treat so that there is no sneaking of candy, which might disrupt the ensuing class party) I was delighted to find the kind of cheap, crappy candy that my first graders would always reject. Maybe I didn’t do a cutesy treat bag, but what kid would choose a bag with two DumDum lollipops and two stickers over a KitKat bar? That’s when I realized the whole trunk or treat thing is not just about the children.
And I was even more delighted to discover a peanut-ridden Snickers bar. That we hadn’t given out. So we weren’t the only ones to screw up. Not that it matters as much when the kids don’t get to have the treats unless their parents give them to them. But I still hope Missy’s kid got a Snickers too.
Hubby thinks Ironflower’s attendance at school is too stressful for me. I think maybe I just need a other moms to remind me that Missy is an idiot.
5 responses so far ↓
Leslie // October 30, 2007 at 9:40 pm
That Missy is an idiot. There are people like that in every bunch.
I find it completely annoying when people see your child crying and somehow believe they can make them stop when their own parents can’t! I actually offered Julia to a woman in the grocery store. She was somewhere between one and two and just throwing a fit. A woman came up and started offering advice and I was so pissed and frazzled I said, “If it’s so easy, you’re welcome to take her shopping with you.” She just walked away from me. What a jerk!
The Trunk or Treat is a cute little idea. The important thing is that the kids had fun. It’s so annoying when parents make stuff like that about them - going all out to impress the other parents. It’s one thing to do something extra for your kids, but would they all do it if there weren’t other parents watching? Sometimes the parenting competition gets so exhausing, don’t you think?
Marci B. // October 31, 2007 at 4:08 am
Oh no! What an ordeal! I hope you are feeling better, and feeling more assured of the good mother that you are.
Jess // November 2, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Missy: Is an IDIOT.
In capital letters.
Jerseygirl89 // November 3, 2007 at 2:06 am
Leslie - I agree. And I’m so glad I’m not the only parent to have been offered advice in public. It’s so rude.
Marci - Thank you. I am.
Jess - Thank you so much.
Merry Jelinek // November 16, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Honestly, there are a lot of ‘Missy’s’ in the mother’s circle… every mom will run into a few and more moms act this way than would admit it… the sad thing is, Missy thinks she’s being dead helpful, while getting to lord it over other people… You run into the same thing volunteering when the kids aren’t even around - there’s always at least one of them making everyone miserable or talking to you like you’re an idiot (which I’ve often thought I must be, to put off all the fun stuff I’d like to do and take that kind of bullsh!t for free)- they’re the same nitwits that constantly complain about the lack of volunteers - gee, wonder why people are running in the opposite direction when the queen of all that is unholy is holding the sign up sheet.
Oh, that was a fun rant.. take heart, though, the treat bag thing runs its course and most parents are done with it by the time the kids hit second or third grade… I generally get the baggies (hey, forty halloween motif baggies for like a buck) and throw in a handful of assorted candies - it’s not like they don’t get enough crap, it’s mid november and I’m still trying to get rid of it… anywhere other than in my kids’ mouths.
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