You all gave me such wonderful and thoughtful comments on the original post, that instead of answering your comments there I decided to write another post.
Oh, and Hubby and my parents mentioned that I might know a little TOO much about child development for my own paranoid good. (Just for the record, you all said it much more nicely)
The truth is, no one but me has ever had any concerns about their development.
Because they’re fine. Between your comments, the pediatrician and six hours of internet research (not to mention the books I’ve read and the websites I’ve visited in the past), I can now declare that there’s nothing wrong with my children (except for the whining and tantrums, but apparently this too is normal).
The problem is mine.
It is time for me to accept that they can’t be ahead of the developmental curve in every single way all the time. And the fact that they are normal does not mean I should beat myself up for letting them watch Pinky Dinky Doo. Every day.
When I taught, my students were generally the highest achieving class at their grade level (I’m not bragging, I just didn’t have much competition). They were also usually the best behaved. Naturally, I thought this trend would continue when I had my own children.
(Stop laughing)
I’m going to work on getting over this problem. Because I really don’t want to be one of THOSE parents.
5 responses so far ↓
Holly // January 17, 2008 at 8:00 pm
You’re starting to sound like one of THOSE parents. I’m sure they are way more advanced in some areas. They can’t be perfection in all ways, you know.
Life As I Know It // January 17, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Oh, it’s really really hard NOT to compare your kids to other kids. Of course we want our kids to be the best and brightest and most well behaved, but they’re just not. Noone’s is.
I think they all develop at different rates when they are young, and then at a certain point they are all caught up with eachother somewhere down the line.
Thalia's Child // January 18, 2008 at 2:31 am
It’s natural to want your children to excel - so long as you are aware that you are prone to that type of behaviour, you’ll be fine.
For what it’s worth, I am the exact same way. Punkin is almost 13 months old and doesn’t have a single tooth in her head. It creeps me out.
Also. She knows how to walk, and won’t. Stubborn little git.
Jerseygirl89 // January 18, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Holly - But I thought the only imperfection would be their behavior! Oh well, I’m sure this is a good karmic lesson.
Life - You are so rational and sane. Thank you for that.
Thalia’s Child - Ironflower was like that with the walking. Eventually she’ll find a reason to do it. Oh wait, just like MY children will eventually do all the things I want them to do. It’s all so clear now. Thanks.
Leslie // January 20, 2008 at 5:10 am
I know where you’re coming from. I’m a naturally competitive person and that transfers to Julia, too. I have to work to control myself and some days my mantra is, “Don’t drive her to therapy.”
My mom often asks me, “Leslie, how many mistakes do you make in a day? A lot, right? Well, Julia is only three. Give her a break. You can’t expect more from her than you can expect from yourself.”
I know how you feel.
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