Every time I bring Ironflower to school, I thank the gods that she’s in her particular class. It’s not just that she has a veteran teacher or that the kids in her class are all very sweet. It’s that none of the moms freak me out. They are all nice and normal and sane. And that’s saying a lot around here.
There are a lot of disturbing women around Stuck-Up and a large number of them seem to have children at Ironflower’s preschool. So every time I go to drop off or pick up I see these women and cringe. And shudder. And begin to sweat. Much like I am having an anxiety attack. I don’t know whether it’s that I fear turning into them or that I fear having to make small talk with them, but the reaction is much the same.
Maybe I’m over-reacting. I sort of hope I am. That’s where you come in. I’m going to describe the women and you’re going to tell me if they would make you nervous too. Well, you don’t have to tell me. I just mean that I’d appreciate it.
The Women Who Make Me Nervous (in no particular order):
1. The woman who had a meltdown when her two healthy sons drank out of the same cup.
2. The woman who wears the white fur coat, sweatpants and mules to drop off and pick up.
3. The woman who spent the parent meeting going off about the waste accumulated by using juice boxes. . . .and then went out and got into her Hummer.
4. Missy.
5. The woman who wears her hottie tennis outfit (short skirt and short sleeved-shirt) and nothing else to drop off and pick up. In January. In New Jersey.
6. The woman who routinely backs her Lexus SUV out of a parking space while talking on the phone, drinking Starbucks, rifling through her purse and without looking in her mirrors.
7. The woman who regularly steps in front of the children filing into a classroom so that she can talk to the teacher, regardless of established classroom and politeness procedures. She then blocks the door for the first five minutes of the school day.
8. The woman who wears the full-length mink coat and sweat pants when volunteering.
9. The woman who said, “Well, he sure has a lot of free time” about one of the regular pick up/drop off dads.
10. The women who wear spike heeled/pointy toed boots, spackle-level make-up, creased jeans and designer tops to go to the preschool and the grocery store.
Those women are weird, right? It’s not me, is it?
22 responses so far ↓
LunaNik // January 29, 2008 at 10:33 am
Avoid these women at all costs! They are a cult and they will try to suck you in and make you sacrafice a small animal to be a part of their clique. Run…don’t walk away…when you see these women.
AND, bring a can of spray paint. FUR??? These women need a reality check.
Cris // January 29, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Geez…they are everywhere, huh? I Have begun volunteering at school ONLY when I think there will be no other mothers there.
LifeAsIKnowIt // January 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Um, yeah, definitely freaky.
That’s how I felt at soccer practices last fall…I was competely underdressed in jeans and a fleece pullover on the soccer fields.
Aunt Becky // January 29, 2008 at 12:47 pm
I know you said it was NJ, but this sounds an awful lot like where WE live.
And yes, they make me sweat too.
Amanda Regan // January 29, 2008 at 1:14 pm
All the mothers at my sons preschool are like this, probably because most of them have no money worries at all. I have many so they all look down their noses at me. Even the moms from the U.S air base (I’m in the U.K) look down their noses at me. I’ve never known a more unfriendly group of women and I really don’t want to ever be like them.
Lottifish // January 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I just don’t understand women like that. I don’t have kids but I know I’ll be scared of these types when I do.
Cuz // January 29, 2008 at 1:40 pm
They are freaks. As an above poster said, when your rich as hell with nothing to do, some people try to make themselves relevent by filling up the hole in their sould by being a passive agressive bitch. But hey, Oprah can’t be on 24/7 (yet)
What I have always loved about u cuz is that even though at times in your life you have found yourslef surrounded by people/situations like this, you never succumb to the easy way out and give in to the vapid-ness. Your always you. It’s one of the few things I can can’t on in life.
anglophilefootballfanatic // January 29, 2008 at 7:32 pm
You know? I think these women have lousy home lives. They try to flaunt, because their husbands are screwing their personal assistants. You must avoid them.
Leslie // January 29, 2008 at 8:05 pm
They’d freak me out, too.
Now that I live in Cow Town, USA, I don’t see this stuff as much. But before we moved here, I was the only mom in our Baby & Me class NOT wearing Prada, Manolos and a fake hair color. I was wearing jeans from Wal-Mart and no-name sneakers, But I was also the mommy that didn’t look like she had a stick up her ass.
Thalia's Child // January 29, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Absolutely nuts, all of them - and you should run away from all of them if they get within 10 feet of you.
*shudder*
silken // January 29, 2008 at 10:12 pm
I think I sweat more over the small talk issue…if any of them would even deign to make small talk w/ the likes of me!
jerseygirl89 // January 29, 2008 at 10:35 pm
LunaNik - Don’t worry, they will never try to drag me into the cult - my good clothes are from Old Navy.
Cris - It’s almost reassuring to know that they are in other places.
Life - They dress like that at soccer games?
Becky - I guess there’s a Stuck-Up everywhere.
Amanda - I usually get pity looks. I think I’d rather get sneers.
Lottifish - Do a lot of neighborhood research before you have kids. There’s got to be a place filled with cool moms somewhere.
Cuz - You are so sweet.
AFF - I like that idea about the lousy home lives.
Leslie - Hehe. They do look like they are kinda intimate with sticks.
Thalia’s Child - Unfortunately I have to see them at parent meetings. But I never turn my back. Or go anywhere alone.
Silken - They don’t usually talk to me either - and for that I am grateful.
MamaGeek // January 29, 2008 at 10:37 pm
It’s so NOT YOU!
You know that girl that The routinely backs her Lexus SUV out of a parking space while talking on the phone, drinking Starbucks, rifling through her purse and without looking in her mirrors.
I think that’s my neighbor! BLECH!
PG // January 30, 2008 at 12:43 am
9. The woman who said, “Well, he sure has a lot of free time” about one of the regular pick up/drop off dads.
I’m that guy! I know they are saying it about me, and frankly it pisses me off a bit.
jerseygirl89 // January 30, 2008 at 9:17 am
Mama Geek - Thank you. And I’m sorry one of THEM is your neighbor.
PG - It pisses me off too! It’s so sexist and bitchy.
feener // February 1, 2008 at 11:48 am
oh my gosh, number 3 is the BEST.. GIVE me one good reason to own a hummer ?? seriously ?? one benefit to anyone ?? found you thru caffeine court …adding you to my blogroll !!
I Am A Blogging Goddess « Dirty Little Secret // February 1, 2008 at 7:49 pm
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kate // February 2, 2008 at 10:19 am
OMG how funny! I thought I was freaked out by the crazy Jersey moms because I was from CT. Good to hear someone agrees!
Christine // February 3, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Maybe there is a wormhole or something that transports these women to my kid’s school everyday…I KNOW them!!! And they are most definitely freaks.
Jami // February 4, 2008 at 3:03 pm
I think these women all have big empty pods in their bedrooms. Do NOT let them touch you! They have apparently spread across the county by some insidious means because they’re here in Small Town Near Big City, Texas and it’s possibly contagious.
Oh, and feener - I have a reason for you: you’re in Baghdad in the Marines and you’re heading into Sadr City with 6 other guys. Other than that, not so much.
cyndy // February 6, 2008 at 4:20 am
Before I could comment, I read LunaNik’s comment and realized she said it all.
So, ditto LunaNik.
WordVixen // February 9, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Why is number 9 the one that p’s me off the most?
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