I watch Supernanny. Normally I smile and nod as Jo rescues families in far, far worse shape than mine. Sometimes I even learn a trick or two. But after watching last week’s episode (this afternoon) with Wendy Phillips (from Wilson Phillips of “Hold On” fame - guess it was easier than going on Dancing with the Stars) I have lost all respect for the Supernanny.
She had the family go out for a meal. The parents, the four year old boy, the three year old boy and the twin newborns (also boys, Goddess help that woman) and Jo settled into their seats at the restaurant. Jo had the parents go over expectations - fine. The older boys began playing with silverware and whatnot. Jo reminded the parents to do her “direct talking” trick to get them to behave appropriately.
Jo did NOT, however, remind them to bring some appropriate damn toys to the restaurant. The two preschoolers were given the choice of sitting still and silently or eating their food.
Still and quiet for thirty minutes? Are you kidding me?
I guarantee that the boys wouldn’t even have touched the silverware in the first place if Wendy knew to whip out a bag of restaurant only toys and books. If they had been engaged with Play-Doh and coloring books no one would have had to correct their damn behavior.
What kind of idiot expects children under five to be still and quiet when not hearing a story or watching Dora?
Uh, unless I should be expecting more sitting still and quiet from my kids? Am I the idiot? It’s been so long since developmental psych.
21 responses so far ↓
cegrundler // February 25, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I’ve never watched the show, but you’re absolutely right. Pack ‘travel toys’, like Magnadoodles and even a game-boy. It’s not natural or fair to expect a child to sit like perfect little adults in a restuarant. Hell, even I can’t sit like a perfect adult. My daughter always carried her little backpack of goodies, and behaved like a small child prepared to wait for her meal. Another trick was we’d pack some nibbles, like crackers or raisins, because food can take forever for a hungry little stomach.
I never studied developmental psych or even held a baby before my daughter was born. I just trusted my instincts and ignored the experts. I was told I was doing ‘it’ wrong more times than I could count, but my daughter’s grown into a confident, happy college junior, studying on an academic scholarship and staying on the dean’s list. Oh, and I was told video games would rot her brain. Studies now show they can increase cognitive skills and math scores, and build patience and puzzle solving skills. Amusingly, she’s president of the university gamer’s club.
Let kids act their age. That’s what they’re supposed to be doing, not pretending to be miniature adults.
HRH // February 25, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I agree with you. That is just crazy. Boys and sitting still don’t go well at all let alone when under the age of 7. Mine never colored either which made eating out even more challenging. They viewed crayons as missles. Boys are boys!
jerseygirl89 // February 25, 2008 at 8:44 pm
cegrundler - Sounds like you did an amazing job. I think I’ve read too many experts at this point. And I definitely plan to be cool about video games!
HRH - Okay, I may have to rethink the crayon thing then.
But I’m so glad a more experienced mom agrees with me!
Leslie // February 25, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Anytime there’s a long wait involved, there’s got to be something for kids to do. Honestly, who can sit still and quiet for 30 minutes? Not me.
feener // February 25, 2008 at 8:59 pm
i don’t usually watch the show, but i watched the wilson one. oh please, we all know that she had a nanny for the twins - really, someone with her background is going to raise 4 kids under 4 without help. this was blatent promotion for her and her sister and their future tour.
anglophilefootballfanatic // February 25, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I agree with HRH. Boys need to get good & dirty. But four boys 4 and under? And, lofty expectations? Hardly! Shame on Jo. And, I think Jo needs to include spanking when necessary. That’s my big beef with her.
Thalia's Child // February 25, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I’ve only watched the supernanny once, and I couldn’t watch it ever again. The kids were too horrible to contemplate, and the nanny made me crazy. And the parents. Ugh.
stephanie (bad mom) // February 25, 2008 at 10:22 pm
You are brave for even watching that show, let me just say that first.
And yes, it is unreasonable to expect children to wait in a still, quiet position for anything. I still (with 9 & 7 year olds) bring small bags of tricks to occupy them, along with some word games & such.
There is nothing wrong with you
Karly // February 25, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I can’t watch that show. I’m pretty sure its because every time I mention something about parenting my children to my mother in law she says “Oh, well did you know that Supernanny recommends…insert idiotic thing that is meant for kids who are FAR WORSE BEHAVED than mine.” And then I just want to punch her. (My MIL, not Jo. Though, at that point, I’d probably punch either one of them.)
melbs1969 // February 25, 2008 at 11:09 pm
i’ve NEVER watched that show. and…i expect age appropriate behavior from my children, when we go out. my older kids…12, 11, 11, 10…i expect them to be able to sit quietly-ish…they can talk and be silly, within reason. my 4 year old…i still bring my bag of tricks…play doh, action figures, crayons…because, he’s 4…and, he can’t sit still…because…he’s 4!!
Kathryn // February 25, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Yep. Recently I’ve taken issue with Jo too. A few weeks ago she treated a dad like an abuser when he pushed his son off of his daugheter (the daughter was maybe 2 the son maybe five). It looked like the boy was gonna break the little girl’s back for heavens sake! I think I would have pushed him off too. She just thought that was ridiculous. I was thinking, “come on!”.
And expecting kids that young not to squirm around without toys in a restaurant. That seems cruel to me.
Does Super Nanny even have any kids? Just wondering.
Zoloftmom // February 26, 2008 at 1:09 am
i used to love me some super nanny but now i just get stressed out when i watch. too much like my every day, i guess.
jerseygirl89 // February 26, 2008 at 7:19 am
Leslie - You’re right - I can’t do it either!
feener - I’m sure there was a lot of promotion involved, but I will say she still looked really stressed out!
AFF - Yeah, it seems like the only consequence Jo uses is the naughty chair - which doesn’t always work in real life.
Thalia’s Child - Yeah, usually I just want to smack the parents!
Stephanie - Thank you - I was starting to question my sanity!
Karly - Thankfully, neither my mother nor my MIL watches it.
Melbs1969 - Exactly!
Kathryn - I remember that one! That little boy deserved a good push, in my opinion! Good question about the kids - somehow I doubt it.
Zoloftmom - I hear that too - I couldn’t watch it when Lovebug was a newborn and every day felt like a race.
LifeAsIKnowIt // February 26, 2008 at 10:36 am
If it’s on while I’m flipping I’ll stop and watch. Usually it makes me feel like, “hey, I’m doing pretty good with the whole parenting thing afterall”…
and yes, I ALWAYS have a bag of tricks at a restaurant. Crayons, paper, matchbox cars, books, whatever it takes.
Becky // February 26, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Well, I don’t often watch it, but that’s pretty high expectations for a kid. Seriously.
silken // February 26, 2008 at 4:22 pm
prevention is always the best medicine!! things can go so much more smoothly when you’re prepared!
PunditMom // February 26, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Nanny Jo needs a little reality check if you’re going to eat at a restaurant with anyone under the age of 12.
heathersway // February 26, 2008 at 5:13 pm
No kidding! Packing something to distract the kiddies is the FIRST thing we do when planning an outing that is not all about them. This is especially necessary when you are going to a restaurant. What was she thinking?
jerseygirl89 // February 26, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Life - That’s usually how I feel about it too - the Writer’s Strike has forced me to tape reality shows. It’s a good thing it’s over.
Becky - So glad that I’m not some low standards mom - I was kinda nervous there after listening to supernanny.
Silken - That’s one of those things that I thought supernanny would be all over. Prevention.
PunditMom - 12 sounds about right for the whole”sit still chill” idea. Maybe.
Heathersway - I know, I always have toys in the diaper bag, plus backpacks of other toys stashed in the car for those LONG waits.
silken // February 27, 2008 at 4:44 pm
your post here and my comment to it have been part of a post I did here . thanks for getting me thinking!
Dory // March 1, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Forgive the tardy chiming-in… stoopid job…
Mine are 11 and 8 and I still let them each bring one toy. Yes, I do expect them to behave well enough not to embarrass me, but I also understand that boys will be boys and cannot be expected to make like mannequins at the restaurant.
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