I hate baby showers.
I don’t like bridal showers either, unless they are coed and involve cocktails.
I haven’t been to that many showers (could it be my attitude?) , but I feel like I’ve been to thousands. It’s not the gifts or the registries that bother me, it’s the conversations as everyone discusses each onesie or toaster oven. How many different ways can each person say, “Cute!” or “So practical!” And then there are the games. I like party games that involve drinking, not creative uses for toilet paper.
I hated my own showers more than anything. Then I had to be the FIRST one to come up with an appropriate and original comment for each gift. And I couldn’t even go do a shot in the kitchen (I only did that at one shower, I swear). Well,I did like one of the showers I had. Because it wasn’t like a regular shower. My friend Mimi asked me what I wanted and I told her that I wanted her to invite people over to her house for a Chiefs game. The shower was coed, there was beer (not for me, but the guests had a good time) and conversation was mainly about football. There was some baby talk, but it wasn’t bland gift discussion, it was real information.
That was the best shower ever.
What do you think? Do you enjoy baby showers? Did you have a traditional one? Do you think I’m a complete bitch?
21 responses so far ↓
Dory // March 8, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Oh, I heartily agree!!! Showers totally suck ass!
cass // March 8, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Amen and can I give you the e-mail address of my Mother in Law who is INSISTING on throwing a baby shower despite me telling her many many many times that I’m “not a shower person” and that I feel genuinely uncomfortable in those situations. Then you throw the real wrench into the mix which is - this baby shower isn’t actually for me….it’s so all of her friends can meet me when I’m about as big as a house and buy presents for a little baby they will likely never meet.
My husband is ZERO help in this department because he sees this as an opportunity to have people spend an obscene amount of money to buy stuff we actually need…which in some ways he’s right….but at the cost of having my body circumference measured and guessed upon on the terrace of a Country Club? NO.
Reiza // March 8, 2008 at 11:07 pm
I somehow became the designated shower-thrower for a bunch of my friends over the past year. Honestly, it kind of sucked. I don’t know if I can have more kids, so having to throw that shit together and stare at the tiny baby things was not the most fun I’ve ever had.
That being said, we tend to do new-agey type showers which are actually pretty cool. No stupid games. We did decorate onesies at all the showers along with a t-shirt for mom to wear in labor (if she felt compelled), but they were more punk rock than cutesie. A friend supplied cupcakes made to look like breasts for my bfing sister’s shower. We have a bunch of new-agey type things we do that center on the mom and her friends–not those annoying, “Guess what baby food this is” or “What candy bar is in the diaper” type games.
It’s also really about the mom. All of those were for 2nd time moms, so they didn’t need the basics. What they did need, though, was an excuse to get together with some girlfriends.
feener // March 8, 2008 at 11:18 pm
i think i hated them when i was single, wasting a weekend day on watching someone open F08(*&* appliances and crap. however, once i was married with kids, i was pumped to have someone serve me a meal and have no kids to worry about. i would go to one once a weekend right now.
so tired // March 8, 2008 at 11:46 pm
I hate showers too. And I think it really sucks that when a female gets married she has to start going to showers for her husband’s side of the family too. I mean what a crock! My husband never has to go to a party without me, but with a big group of my male family members in the middle of a weekend day and make pleasant small talk.
And I hate the gift pass around! No one really cares. You are forced to put in a requisite amount of time admiring some crappy present before you pass it on the next person.
Jen // March 9, 2008 at 12:30 am
I actually kind of like showers. I didn’t even mind when we did the yarn around the belly game at my baby shower. I have been to some really bad ones though and a bad shower is a painful thing to endure.
WordVixen // March 9, 2008 at 3:22 pm
My cousin is due in a few months, and I’m dreading it! I haven’t been to a baby shower since highschool (another cousin’s), and they’re really not my thing.
Generally, I only know the recipient of the party, so I have no one to talk to. I have to come up with a $50 gift on a $5 budget, and, I swear, I’m the only person in the world who knows where to get a cake that isn’t dry, flavorless, and has super-sugar icing- that’s crunchy.
I ducked out of this cousin’s bridal party before the wedding. Hopefully I can just talk her into meeting me somewhere so I can give her her gift.
If I get pregnant, I don’t even want a shower for myself! Just mail me the gifts, or hand them off to my mother to pass on.
Virginia // March 9, 2008 at 5:37 pm
During my prime childbearing years we usually lived far away from family and always seemed to move shortly after discovering I was pregnant. So, I finally got a real baby shower when I was pregnant with my 5th kid. Although the games are lame, the refreshments usually mediocre, and finding things to say about each gift sucks, I totally loved the gift booty! I got way more stuff from the baby shower than I did for baby gifts when the other kids were born. Totally selfish I know but man! baby stuff is expensive!
Suburban Turmoil Blog Hopping Weekend…Virginia
Suburban Turmoil // March 9, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Well, I like it when people throw me a baby shower because it makes me feel like they really care about me. Like, I feel sorry for people who don’t have one.
BUT, they are also the most embarrassing memories of my life. Because hello, I’m as big as a barn, the last thing I want is for a roomful of women to be staring at me while I fumble around and sweat trying to open presents for 30 minutes. It’s just a bit… much.
canadianflake // March 9, 2008 at 8:11 pm
roflmao…this makes me think of the wedding shower my sister threw me..
it was supposed to be a surprise…my Mom asked if there was anything I needed for the house and I said I needed some new towels…
there was 11 guests there..and every single one of them gave me towels…it was totally insane..lmao
mkate // March 9, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I’m torn about showers. I’ve been to some really good ones and really bad ones. I had wanted my baby shower to be co-ed but that didn’t happen (it freaked my sisters out way too much) but I ended up enjoying it anyway.
I am definitely over the wedding shower gift reveal and tend to duck out of the room for the opening of presents at kids’ birthday parties (too chaotic). But, I still find baby shower gifts cute (check back with me on this one after I attend about a dozen baby showers this spring/summer).
jerseygirl89 // March 9, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Dory - Great description!
Cass - I’ll be happy to email your MIL and tell her off for you. Though it sounds like she probably won’t listen. I feel your pain.
Reiza - I would totally go to one of “your” baby showers. They sound fun.
feener - Most I have been to have been the bring the children kind, so there’s no joy there. And the food was awful. I’m going with you next time.
so tired - Seriously! And what boring person thought of the gift pass around?
Jen - Clearly I have rarely been to anything but a bad shower.
Wordvixen - Ducking out is good. And I think you should send out pregnancy announcements with your last sentence on them. When the time comes, of course.
Virginia - Five kids? You get whatever makes you happy.
Suburban Turmoil - It is a sweet gesture when someone throws you a baby shower. It is. It’s just not one I appreciate, obviously.
canandianflake - I bet you never need to do laundry because you have no clean towels!
mkate - I actually like buying the gifts. I wouldn’t even mind it if they were all displayed. But I hate the opening and the cooing.
matteroffactmommy // March 10, 2008 at 6:57 am
i hate baby showers. unless there is good food and wine involved. at my shower, there were both. and i drank some wine. so shoot me!
Becky // March 10, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I like baby showers, but hate bridal showers. BUT, I completely hate having to watch people open presents (or opening them myself). I find it so incredibly rude.
LunaNik // March 10, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Dude, we were soooo meant to be friends!
I HATE showers. HATE.
My baby shower was also co-ed. Lots of sangria and tequila. Everyone but me got HAMMERED!!! It was fabulous!
When I opened my gifts I did so at the speed of light so no one (including myself) would get bored. The only people who complained were the old ladies who actually like baby showers.
No silly games at my shower either. I wouldn’t have it.
jerseygirl89 // March 10, 2008 at 9:23 pm
LunaNik - It’s fun watching all the drunk people , isn’t it? Though I have to say my in-laws were a little freaked out.
Leslie // March 14, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I think it all comes down to the coolness factor of the shower thrower. Showers can be awesome or they can be totally lame. I’ve been to more lame ones than cool ones. But I did enjoy each of mine, probably because of the getting presents part of it all.
Ileana // March 19, 2008 at 11:42 am
We have a bunch of baby shower haters, I don’t know if it’s because their young or they like to drink or what, a baby shower can be more like a get together, I’ve had only one and I’ve gone to many, and no I’m not old, I’m only 31 years old, I think that sometimes maybe it’s that your pregnant and moody, but I love babyshowers, I think it’s wonderful to share the joy that you feel of bringing another human into this world, and I think is a time to feel pampered by all the people that are their, I like the attention, I think it’s wonderful, I love parties I enjoy when I see all the people I love there and that they look happy and they enjoy chatting with each other it’s more like a get together and like a catch up in all the gossip!
actchy // April 6, 2008 at 6:58 pm
JG,
I’m here for the first time and this post caught my eye, possibly because I spent today picking up a baby gift for the seventh time in the past two weeks? Anyway, I actually blogged about showers back in January after I spent all of a two hour ride on the NJ Turnpike home from one thinking about them. I decided I like showers, though I’m still not 100% sure why? Not to be too much of a “check out my blog” commenter, but if you’re at all curious to get my take on showers, well… I’m sure you know the drill…
Annie // May 10, 2008 at 7:40 pm
OMG I’m so glad I’m not the only one! What I hate the most are the showers I’m invited to by my husband’s obscure relatives. “Hi, we met twice… both times I grunted in reply to your friendly hello and never made eye contact… now please buy me the $80 gold-plated clothes iron I put on my registry and play horrifyingly demeaning party games with us!” WOOOO yeah… and by “yeah” I mean “Hows about not”.
Boo Sr. // May 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Did you ever have an in-law describe and give you a handmade “circum-cision kit?” One SIL gave the other a fancy basket with all the Vaseline, gauze, etc. to take care of the new arrival’s winky. Oh wow. I actually went to that one with my hubby- he was the only man. Mine, no one took pictures, and the girl giving it didn’t ask me a thing about what I wanted. I mentioned something about the other SIL’s theme who was having her baby about a month before mine, so I ended up with the same thing! Couldn’t we have at least gone shopping at the party store together or made up a menu? It was not fun and pretty awkward, getting people from all parts of my life together at someone else’s house. I felt like that meant our house wasn’t good enough for the shower, but it probably was because it would have been too small anyway. Just thinking the other day how I haven’t had to buy a wedding or baby gift in a long time. Wouldn’t get a thank-you from friends or family if I did! Thank God. I wish I could have gone to the New Age one! Anyone do a belly mold at theirs or someone else’s– although I don’t think I would have wanted to show off my belly to the older crowd! THis was fun to read. Happy Mother’s Day.
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