When Hubby asked me if his friend Sam could stay with us for a while, I said okay. When he shared that Sam would be bringing his Chinese (as in, Mandarin speaking from China) girlfriend with him, I said okay. When he said that they would be staying for two weeks, I thought he was joking.
He wasn’t.
Back in like 1991, Sam’s family let Hubby stay with them for a long while. In Sam’s world, this means that Hubby owes Sam.
We do not have a guest room. We do not have a foldout couch. When guests (rarely) come, they either take over Ironflower’s room or sleep on a cot in our not remodeled but still used as an office basement.
Since the cot doesn’t even really fit one adult, Sam and Celia are now ensconced in Ironflower’s room. The original plan, made when I panicked over the thought of having guests in our house for two weeks, was that they would spend a night with us, then go to stay with my parents. Who have an entire floor that can be a guest suite (aka the attic, but they remodeled it very nicely when I moved up there as a teenager). But for whatever reason, the couple is now staying here UNTIL NEXT WEEK.
They are nice and polite, but Sam and I have never been close and I’d never met Celia. Ironflower and Lovebug are unhappily sharing a room and now I have extra housework to do. And we’ve already run out of toilet paper. Hubby is busy with work all week (like, tonight, for example) and wait. . .so am I. We literally do not have money for extra groceries or for entertaining guests. We don’t even have time for entertaining guests. We are no way equipped to have guests for two days, let alone two weeks.
Obviously I never should have agreed to this, but Hubby made it sound like Sam would never forgive him and they’ve been friends since like the first grade.
Any tips on how to deal with this? Because I just want them to go away, or at least leave me alone the 90% of the time. I suppose this makes me a bitch. I could be using this time to get to know Sam better, or to learn about China (I could say get to know Celia, but since they had such a big fight before coming here that they almost didn’t come, I don’t think I’ll ever see Celia again, to be honest). But I don’t feel like getting to know anyone or anything while I’m getting used to being pregnant and working from home.
22 responses so far ↓
feener44 // March 18, 2008 at 5:29 pm
yikes, not sure what to say, cept that sucks. it is so hard to have guests when you don’t have much room, never the less guests you hardly know. can you spend a day at your folks, just to get away ? are they doing anythign during the day - maybe send them to the city for the day ??
LunaNik // March 18, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I don’t think you’re being a bitch at all. I wouldn’t even worry about having to entertain them either. I mean, come on, they didn’t know that they would totally be invading your lives by staying for TWO WEEKS?? My guess is that they don’t expect to be entertained which should be a load off of your back.
As for groceries…eeeekkk. Casseroles and lasagna with salad always feed a crowd right? Boring, but hey, like you said, you’re not equiped for guests.
As for the conference, I don’t know if I’m going. I wanted to mention it to my NJ bloggy buds because I figured none of you knew about it either. And let’s face it, I don’t want to go if I don’t “know” anyone who’s there, ya know. I mentioned it to you, Feener, and Caffeine Court. Any other Jersey blogger you know of? OH…I know another one…Real World Mom!
LifeAsIKnowIt // March 18, 2008 at 7:19 pm
You are NOT being a bitch. You are being a lot more tolerant than I would be.
Have they offered to help with a meal or buy takeout??
Do they have plans during the day or are they with you all day too?
Hang in there. No solutions other than to just try and get through it.
HRH // March 18, 2008 at 7:53 pm
That is seriously crazy. You need your life and your house back. If they are not moving or helping then avoiding them is probably as good as it can get right now. So sorry!
Jess // March 18, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Oh, Mama!! You are NOT a bitch. You are being AMAZING.
I wish I had an answer.
Worst case, hide a piece of fresh seafood somewhere in the room. In a few days they’ll leave, fish can be removed, and you can air out Ironflowers room.
Jenni // March 18, 2008 at 8:12 pm
What a rough time to have guests. Just when exhaustion and nausea are setting in! I say use the prego card if you need to to beg off cooking. Maybe they’ll take the hint and go eat out on their own.
You can be kind and set a good example for the kids without getting walked over or breaking your bank.
so tired // March 18, 2008 at 8:24 pm
OH GOD! I would have never agreed to that. I don’t care who thinks I am a bitch. Cause really I am, so I’d have to agree with them anyway.
Tell your husband that he either calls in sick the rest of the time or he tells them to get out. He did this to you. He needs to fix it.
so tired // March 18, 2008 at 8:24 pm
OR START FARTING.. A LOT!
anglophilefootballfanatic // March 18, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Oh, I’m sorry hubby did that to you. It’s not okay to do to a newly pregnant woman. Hub needs to kindly ask Sam & Celia to take a hike. You are perfectly within your rights asking them to do this.
Working from home? Did you tell us about that? Cause I so don’t think I knew that…and I read you daily.
NOT A BITCH.
Reiza // March 18, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I like the farting idea.
Don’t buy extra groceries. Tell them where the nearest store is and tell them they’re welcome to go buy whatever they need. Either that or make really horrible food for them. My MIL has been using that method for decades and it works. Extra points if the spices in your cabinet are 9 years old (yes, she really had that) and even more points if you insist, “That’s okay. Spices don’t really go bad.” And even more points if you manage to find the one head of broccoli that has a caterpillar in it, then don’t wash it, cook it and serve it to your family. Make sure the guests get the caterpillar. Yes, once again, I’m speaking from experience with my MIL.
Hey, wait, my MIL is in your neck of the woods. Send them to stay with my ILs. Problem solved.
Did you see that Brady Bunch episode where the kids tried to scare away potential buyers for their house? Find that episode, show it to your children and tell them to have at it. Since they’re much younger than the Brady brood, feel free to give them some guidance.
You can also give your kids light sabers and tell them to have fun with the guests. 2 children + light sabers = tears. Hopefully, that will run them off. You will have fulfilled your side of the deal. You’re not kicking them out. They’d leave of their own free will.
Sandy (Momisodes) // March 18, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I’m so sorry to hear. I would be miserable too. And how very awkward! I wouldn’t go the extra mile to entertain or provide meals. I hope the time passes quickly. Hang in there.
Mama DB // March 18, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Oh, girl. I’m not sad they cleaned your toilet. You should let them do more! That’s it. That’s how you get rid of them. Start by asking if they can give you a hand with the dishes and gradually move up to asking for foot rubs. Either they’ll be out fast or your house will be spotless and your dogs won’t be barkin’!
Leslie // March 18, 2008 at 11:38 pm
You’re not a bitch - at all. You’re in an awkward situation.
Perhaps you could gather up a little info on-line or something about nearby attractions or things to do and give them to them saying something like, “Things are a bit hectic around here. I’m sorry I’m not able to entertain the way I’d like - with this new job and the new baby - I hope you’ll understand. But! There are some great things to do and see around here..” Perhaps they’d get the hint to get out from under your feet.
Or, you can just come down with a horrible (albiet fake) illness. If you can really ham it up, maybe they’ll get out early for fear of catching your very nasty and contagious ailment.
canadianflake // March 19, 2008 at 6:30 am
I work out of my home too…and I think I would be getting snarky with hubby’s guests…I wouldn’t mean too…but I am sorta a grump that way..lmao
anne // March 19, 2008 at 7:41 am
Wow, that suck! Here’s hoping the next couple weeks fly by!
jerseygirl89 // March 19, 2008 at 8:06 am
Feener - That’s a thought - my mom read this post and has already emailed her outrage - and an invite.
LunaNik - Well, they are at the store right now buying groceries. Of course they took our car to do it. And they do seem to be cooking for themselves so far.
Life - They are helping with meals, but they are not doing anything during the day yet. Yesterday they slept most of the day. Today, though, they want to “do something” with us.
HRH - If only we had a big enough house so that I could completely avoid them!
Jess - There’s an idea. I just feel bad because I said they could come and now I can’t stand it.
Jenni - I’m trying, I really am.
so tired - As with my other pregnancies, farting is no problem. Maybe it’ll work.
AFF - No, I haven’t really mentioned it yet.
Reiza - The kids don’t seem to be working - they both had huge temper tantrums and then played with the corn popper and then knocked down blocks repeatedly and those two just slept through it. Can I have your ILs number?
Sandy - At least I’ll be super happy when they leave, right?
Mama DB - Hm, I may have to try that.
Leslie - They don’t seem to want to do anything without us. Which I suppose would be nice, in another universe.
canadianflake - I’m trying to be polite, but there’s no way it’s going to last two weeks.
Kathryn // March 19, 2008 at 8:50 am
OMG!!!! I would freak out. The only thing I can think of is for you to pack up the kids and take a two week vacation. ANYWHERE! I just would not be able to handle it. WTF???????
Oh, I know! Make THEM take care of YOU. When they get up in the morning ask if they can do your grocery shopping. Ask them what they will be making for dinner. Ask them if they will be needing an extra set of rubber gloves when they do the dishes. You have small children. AND YOU ARE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!! ACK!!!! No one should expect you to take care of two adults as well!!!!!!!!!!
Meredith // March 19, 2008 at 11:43 am
That is so intrusive! Especially if it’s obvious you don’t have a guest room. I’m sitting here with my mouth gaping open. My husband’s best friend is weird and awful, (I call him Weird Awful XXX to my friends) but I don’t even think he would pull that. He has stayed with us for weekends in our cramped studio apartment, but never with a girlfriend. And I definitely couldn’t be left alone with him all day. You poor thing. Hopefully they’ll leave early.
Ileana // March 19, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Yes, It’s not pretty to be pregnant and to have guest, but put your self in other peoples shoes ,first of all it’s a favor for your husband, they are his guest, be considerate of your husband, treat them with respect and be courteous, Just remember the world turns and sometimes your up and sometimes your down, what if it was you visiting with your kids at their home, treat them like you would like to be treated if you were their guest, trust me sometimes it pays up, once I was a unexpected guest at a house, where I didn’t know the people, and they were so kind and nice to me, when they didn’t have to be, and you appreciate that, and I know for sure if those people were to come and visit me, I would try to treat them as kings/queens, they didnt’ no me and they treated me like I was special, you never know what the future holds, please be nice, you never know!!!
Ileana // March 19, 2008 at 12:56 pm
If you don’t have money for meals and are very tired to be cooking try simple meals that don’t cost too much and are very simple to make, for instance hamburger helper with a salad and bread, hot pockets that take about 2 minutes in the microwave with a salad on the side, a taco salad, hot dogs, easy meals for very little money, make conversation and be nice remember your manners,it’s tough, but try to enjoy it as much as possible who knows, maybe next year you’ll get invited to visit China!
jerseygirl89 // March 19, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Kathryn - I know - I appreciate your being on my side.
Meredith - That’s what I’m hoping.
Ileana - I’m trying to be nice. But trust me, I don’t want to get invited to China!
Our Family Just Keeps Growing « Dirty Little Secret // March 21, 2008 at 9:39 pm
[...] March 21, 2008 · No Comments No, we’re not adopting Sam and Celia. [...]
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