Top Ten Things I Hate Today

There’s really no reason for me to be so crabby today. No one in the family was admitted to the hospital, I didn’t have a failed Doppler experience and my children actually did a good job at library story hour (in fact, compared to most of the other children, they were AWESOME). Hell, I even walked them to the library!

Usually, exercise makes me a happier – and therefore kinder – person. But not today.

Today, I would like to share a few things I hate. I invite you to share your hates in the comments. Think of it as my small way of saying thanks for all the kindness you guys have heaped upon me lately.

1. I hate the fact that I have to sign a WAIVER if I allow Ironflower to go to one of her classmates’ birthday parties. It’s a gymnastics party, so I suppose I get it. But a waiver? Seriously? Are they going to have her doing flips on the balance beam?

2. I hate my pants. They are all too big or too small and I do not have one single pair that makes me feel good or look even slightly better. Not one.

3. I hate the weather. It was warm and springlike for one day, but by Sunday they high will be forty-five degrees. The high!

4. I hate people who tailgate me when I’m driving 35 mph in a 35mph zone. I hope they all get tickets.

5. I hate Fox News. The only time they are “fair and balanced” is when they say the date.

6. I hate that plastic surgery has become so pervasive that women are actually getting work done to make their vaginas  “more attractive”. I think the fact that it works should be attractive enough, dammit.

7. I hate that InStyle says that sailor pants are in. Even models don’t look good in sailor pants. Even SAILORS don’t wear sailor pants anymore.

8. I hate it when my friends don’t read my blog and I actually have to go through all this drama again and again when they call. (It’s perfectly fine – great, even – when friends who do read my blog call)

9. I hate it that I’m not on the Alltop list of parenting blogs, even though I totally don’t deserve to be there.

10. I hate it that I feel like all of my creative juices have been sucked away by stress and nausea and all I can post are lists and pleas for emotional support.