So this morning my regular OB’s office calls me (the whole nuchal translucency thing was done by the high-risk pregnancy office) and asks me if I’ve scheduled my early anatomy scan with the high risk people yet.
HUH?
The office girl (you don’t think it was a nurse or a doctor who called me, do you?) says that because of the high measurement, I need to have the twenty week ultrasound done at 16 weeks, and it should be done by the specialists. I mention my normal blood tests and the fact that the genetic counselor didn’t mention this.
Office girl doesn’t have my blood tests, but she says that the OB I saw last month (whom I disliked) says I need it. Because of the nuchal measurement.
Now then, part of me says - hey, it’s another ultrasound! If NewBaby is cooperative, I could find out the sex early. But the other part of me says, if this is necessary, why didn’t the genetic counselor mention it when she mentioned the blood test I need at 16 weeks and the fetal echocardiagram I need at 20? (BTW, I am using the term “need” loosely)
I cannot express how deeply I want to go back to my doctor in Kansas City, who had a sense of humor and never freaked out. Or possibly I should try to find a mid-wife, thanks to comments on my previous post.
Any thoughts? Suggestions? Ways to soothe my nerves that don’t involve beer or Brie?
15 responses so far ↓
feener // May 1, 2008 at 8:13 pm
nothing wrong with looking for a new doc now. honestly, i also think it is best to just keep calm and realize this is all things to make sure and help you and the doc feel that everything is progressing well. i know that is so hard to keep in mind. such a roller coaster. hang in there.
mkate // May 1, 2008 at 10:12 pm
I would switch if you’re unhappy. I switched at about 16 weeks. I really liked my OB but he only sees people in NJ 1x a mos (he delivers in Columbia). I am sure there are people in the playgroup who could recommend a good OB.
Thalia's Child // May 1, 2008 at 11:50 pm
There’s a couple of really important things that the medical community like to gloss over when dealing with pregnancy.
Pregnancy is NOT a medical condition. It’s a natural condition. It’s not like you have a disease. Sure, you might have higher risk factors because you are older, but that doesn’t mean you are disease ridden.
YOU are the boss. As a health care consumer, your concerns and your questions are paramount. If the doc or office nurse can’t make time to talk to you, you need a new doc. DON’T accept the office girl’s excuses, demand to speak to the doctor. Demand that he explain why, if everything is normal, he wants this test. (Although in all likelihood it’s because he’s behind on his porche payment).
Absolutely check out the midwife situation. You’ve had 2 other babies. Apparently your body has figured out pregnancy and childbirth. Unless the doctor can give you a definitive ‘high risk’ diagnosis, there’s no need for massive amounts of intervention - the stress will actually make your blood pressure rise, which is dangerous in pregnancy
Best wishes!
Nicole // May 2, 2008 at 1:40 am
As the daughter of an OB/GYN I can tell you that not all doctors are created equal. I say look for another doctor. You want to have total confidence in the office, staff and physician. And you definitely want a doctor who can guide you in the event an issue develops. You may be low risk, but could still have complications.
Karly // May 2, 2008 at 8:26 am
If you aren’t happy with your OB, I would definitely start looking for someone new. Better to switch now than when you are 39 weeks pregnant and minutes from poppin’! Also, I would TOTALLY go for that early specialist US so that you could see the sex. But thats just me.
Connie // May 2, 2008 at 9:16 am
I had two children in 11 months. The first with a midwife in Colorado, the second with an OB in Utah. Two very different experiences in a short period of time.
I did not have all of the tests (I was 35 with the first one) because it wouldn’t have changed anything for me. I don’t like to worry about things that could happen.
I recently watched the documentary, The Business of Being Born and it is an eye opener! If the lord ever blesses me with another baby…I would love to attempt a home birth with a midwife.
Watch the movie. You will be amazed and shocked.
Good luck to you!
kendra // May 2, 2008 at 9:44 am
That would flip me out. I am sorry that this whole doctor thing has been a nightmare. This is supposed to be a great time. Okay, not great, but you get what I mean.
suvbitch // May 2, 2008 at 10:08 am
J-
I actually was thinking that I was being rude in my last comment on my last post, so I’m glad you are uber cool and not a bitch like me.
Look- I can’t say a lot, some people have given great advice.
I just believe that pregnancy is NOT a sickness.
Here is the BOTTOM LINE-
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING!
Just because “they” tell you to do it!
So call that stupid, bratty receptionist back and say “no”.
And don’t EXPLAIN YOURSELF. Just say No.
It’s almost FUNNY when doctors get told no. Seriously. Hilarious.
I have a friend who had to have a C-section for her first, who was breach. The doctor said “we’re going to schedule it for such and such” and she said “No”. Politely, of course. He just stared. She had decided that the baby would chose the day to be born, and then she’d go in and have the c-section. The doctor was simply not used to patients having their own opinions.
It’s a rough road to have to fight with your OB/medical staff the entire pregnancy, which is why many of us chose to fire them all together.
Don’t want to go that far? Find a different doctor. One who you are not afraid to say “NO” to.
It’s OKAY to say “I need to think about this, research this, or sleep on it” without getting any undue or unnecessary pressure.
And as for “advanced maternal age”- nothing miraculous happened to your body at age 35 that suddenly makes you “high risk”. That they do this to women REALLY get my- well- that’s another post. Just know that there are LOTS of women in their mid to late 30’s who have perfectly healthy babies and aren’t treated as “high risk” by their chosen care providers.
You get to pick- how do you want this pregnancy to go? High risk, lots of unnecessary tests, lots of being told what to do, how to feel, and how high to jump? Or is there a better way to go?
Big hugs. I’m sorry, I typed too much. I’m very passionate about birth and it’s really difficult for me to even say anything on the topic without ranting.
Becky // May 2, 2008 at 10:32 am
Shit, you know that you can refuse whatever tests/treatments you want to, right? I’d say screw it. If you’re not going to do anything with the results besides get all stressed out, then screw it.
Hey, will you email me? becky (at) dwink (dot) net
Travis Erwin // May 2, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Second opinions are always a good thing.
jerseygirl89 // May 2, 2008 at 5:38 pm
feener - You are too right.
mkate - This is the one recommended by the playgroup, unfortunately.
Thalia’s Child - Unfortunately, the mid-wife situation is not good. There are hardly any around here.
Nicole - You are absolutely right.
Karly - I’m definitely going to (at least) find a different doctor in the practice. And yeah, the u/s doesn’t bother me too much.
Connie - I wish I could at least find a midwife. But I’ve had two c-sections, so somehow an OB is going to be involved.
Kendra - It at least shouldn’t be so stress-filled already, right?
Suvbitch - I appreciate your passion and your honesty. And you’re right - I need to find my backbone.
Becky - Screw them, you mean.
silken // May 2, 2008 at 7:49 pm
sorry to hear this has been such an emotional roller coaster. nothing new to add to the comments, just wanted to lend my support to you!
jerseygirl89 // May 2, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Travis - If I only I heard about someone who wasn’t all about high-maintenance pregnancies.
Silken - Thank you - I really appreciate it!
LunaNik // May 10, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Find a midwife QUICKLY.
LunaNik // May 10, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Oh, just read the comments and realize that you need an OB. Hmmm…switch doctors completely maybe? Not just the doctor but the leave the entire practice.
::sigh::
I know…I’m sooo not helpful. Sorry, babe. Let us know what you decide.
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