I’m Empowered, NOT Invisible

I got my haircut yesterday. Thanks to my great fear of pregnancy/post-partum hormones and hair decisions arising from them(at least I learned from the dye job that made me look like a goth after I had Ironflower), I have not had a haircut since July. Except for the bangs I cut myself in September (hormones + stress = I’m convinced I can fix my own hair problems). Anyway, my hair had gotten quite long. Hot Guy LOVES long hair – and doesn’t notice things like split ends or style when the hair is long – so I felt slightly bad chopping it off. But only slightly.

Besides, I didn’t chop it ALL off. Just about four inches (my hair grows really fast). So now it’s shoulder length and layered to encourage the wave and all that. I actually kind of like it now. But I was a little worried about what Hot Guy would think, since he’s such a big fan of long hair.

When I got home, he said it looked good. But as we talked (and I confessed to buying product too) I realized that he looked slightly . . .guilty. Shifty. Not happy. I started questioning him. Finally he admitted, “You’ll be mad if I tell you what I really think.”

I was kinda surprised. After all, it wasn’t like it was truly short. But since I was sure it was cute I knew I could handle his opinion, no matter how bad it was. I told him to tell me the truth.

“I can’t tell the difference, ” he said fearfully. He then went on to explain that since I wear it back so much and since it always “looks nice” when I wear it down. . . well, it just didn’t look any different to him.

“But I cut off FOUR INCHES!” I exclaimed. He nodded and looked at me as though expecting a blow. I wasn’t mad, though – I was just relieved that he didn’t want me to grow it out again. Okay, and a little shocked at his lack of observational powers.

The shock and relief may have turned to a little bit of frustration when he went on to explain that he doesn’t really notice whether I’m wearing make-up or not. “WHAT?” I said, possibly quite loudly. I’m very pale. My skin is uneven. I have straight eyelashes. I look A LOT better when I put on make-up. The difference is palpable. The comments from other people on how rested or not rested I look correlate WAY more to how much make-up I have on than to how much actually sleep I have gotten.

Hot Guy, possibly feeling more confident because I wasn’t acting mad, went on to explain that I always looked fine – and the same – to him. Though he did make sure to point out that I did look especially nice when we got dressed up.

I’m not sure what to do with this information. Although it’s caused me to realize – as I put on concealer and blush this morning – that I definitely don’t do these things for my husband’s benefit. (Since he doesn’t EVEN NOTICE) It’s so empowering to know that I style my hair and do my make-up for me. . .isn’t it?