Hot Guy is willing to do whatever she says. Without arguing, or even grumbles. In fact, if I contradict her, he grumbles at ME.
She’s skinny, too.
And she’s easily annoyed.
Whenever Hot Guy listens to my directions, she snottily says, “ReCALculating.” Like we’ve pissed her off.
She’s Hot Guy’s favorite Christmas present, the Garmin Nuvi GPS. As if I’d let some other woman tell him what to do. As if he even listens to me, except maybe where directions are concerned.
I grew up around here. Which makes me smarter than Garmin Girl, who actually thinks getting on the highway is the answer to everything. I want to tell her, “This is Jersey, bitch. You’re taking your life in your hands every time you get on the highway. Stop telling us to get on the damn highway when we can use back roads and get there just as fast.”
I may have a problem with authority.
I may also have inherited my father’s penchant for using the most scenic/least trafficked/strangest way to go anywhere.
And did I mention that I grew up around here?
So I have a hard time listening to the Garmin Girl. In fact, when I’m driving she’s not allowed to talk. Though I am secretly entertained each time she says, “ReCALculating.” I swear she sounds pissed, like we’re inconveniencing her in some way. I like to see how long it takes her to figure out the way I’m taking us.
Am I weird?
8 responses so far ↓
Mama DB // January 10, 2009 at 3:52 pm |
Oh, I’m laughing. I’m so directionally challenged, we’ve had GPS in the car since the darned thing was invented. I’ve turned off the volume. Permanently. We refer to her as “The Crazy Broad in the dash”
Becky // January 11, 2009 at 11:22 am |
Bwahahahaha!
Well, I used to feel like the Weight Watchers online results were mocking me. So, I’m not the best person to ask these sorts of things.
jerseygirl89 // January 12, 2009 at 3:22 pm |
Mama DB – Oh, I like that nickname!
Becky – I bet they were, those bitches.
Mike // January 13, 2009 at 12:18 pm |
LMAO – I loved this post! And no, you are not weird.
FaithChick // January 13, 2009 at 9:20 pm |
Oh I feel your pain. What is it with guys and their Garmins? I swear my husband would sleep with his if I would let him. I personally don’t like other people telling me what to do. One time the stupid thing tried to take up through a building. He drove around like three times before he would admit that it was wrong. I would love to throw the thing out the window and run it over.
Thalia's Child // January 13, 2009 at 10:30 pm |
I love it. I don’t think it’s weird at all.
When I was about 7 or 8, my Poppa bought a nissan something-or-other that he hated. He was looking for an excuse to get rid of it. The straw that broke the camel’s back came when he left his door open and keys in the car waiting for the hot air to escape after it sat in the hot sun for an afternoon.
The car’s pert female voice said ‘The door is ajar, the door is ajar, the door is ajar’.
Poppa pulled the keys out of the ignition, threw them across the parking lots and said ‘I know that, you silly bitch!’
He traded the car in the next week.
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