Hey, I’ve Got A Favor To Ask

Last Sunday the home of one of my favorite bloggers burned down. If you can help, please visit:

Thanks.

Errr, Some Stuff I Was Thinking About

Updates and other info that I’m too lazy to turn into cohesive posts:

1. Go over to Anglophile Football Fanatic’s blog and vote for her niece’s blog pseudonym. The poll is on the right. And the name you should vote for is Ainsley, since that’s the one I suggested.

2. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the advice and suggestions you gave me about the Verizon problem. I am happy to say that thanks to the Better Business Bureau the early termination fee has been removed from our last bill. Unfortunately, we still have a last bill. Ah well, nothing’s perfect.

3. The people across the street didn’t have anyone come over last night. They weren’t home. Is it sad that I was a little disappointed?

4. How come it’s okay for the government to bail out huge corporations that screw up but this same government looks down on people who have to declare bankruptcy or go on welfare?

5. So this website I write for pays me to write lots of LAME articles (but they PAY, alright?) and some of them wind up on eHow.com. I have NO COMMENTS on eHow. None. So if you could swing by and say something (you don’t have to actually read the articles. In fact, I’d prefer it if you didn’t.) I would really appreciate it. Like owe you linky love appreciate it.

5a. Do you think I should have a link to my lame articles on the blog here? I’m not sure.

You’re A Winner!

Well, uh, you could be. If you’re Reiza from Stepping Off The Spaceship. She’s the winner of the Slummy Mummy book contest! Congrats, Reiza!

Now, I’m not complaining or anything, okay? But, um, I think it’s a little odd that I got about half the comments on my book post/contest that I did on my post about assholes. Apparently, trying to inspire comments through contests only works for other bloggers. I just have to post about assholes (or my boobs, or that teacher who had dirty pictures of herself on her cell phone, since those are routinely my biggest searches. I love you people.) Clearly you are all winners, seeing as you don’t fall for my blatant attempts to fish for compliments.

Or maybe you’re just more interested in assholes than free books.

Whatever. I like you all just the way you are.

In more winning news:

Congratulations to my wonderful Ironflower, who recently decided that she no longer needed training pants at night. And she was right.

Congratulations to my darling Lovebug, who recently learned how (and when) to say, “You look gor-geous.”

And many congratulations to AndreAnna on the birth of the adorable Sawyer.

Pay It Forward Friday. . .Er, Saturday

Yesterday, the fabulous Karly at Wiping Up Snot was named a featured blogger on An Iowa Mom’s Pay It Forward Friday. Because it’s all about the paying it forward, Karly then named me as a featured blogger on her blog. I have spent the interim feeling flattered and superior, though I now realize that I’m supposed to pay it forward too.

So that means I have to pick a featured blogger of my own. Do you know how hard that is? Do you have any idea how many great bloggers are in my Google Reader? But I only get to pick one. So I apologize to everyone else, because you are all fantastic.

• Title Of Blog I Would Like To Feature Is: One Word, One Rung, One Day
• URL To That Blog: http://traviserwin.blogspot.com
• I Like This Blog Because: Travis is funny and clever. And his blog covers so many things – writing, marriage, crazy stories from his youth – that you can always find a post or two to suit your mood.
• Here Is A Post I Enjoyed: I really liked this one. Possibly because it’s something Hot Guy would write, if he wrote stories about our lives.

I’m Sorry

I’ve spent the last two days catching up on the blogs in my reader, as well as posting and replying to my comments. And even though I’d caught up on my reading by 11 last night, today I have 40 posts to read (Don’t any of you EVER take a break? I’m just wondering). And my own post to write. In addition to my work at home job, cleaning and oh yeah, taking care of my children.

Because of our precarious financial situation and our messy house, Hubby has demanded that I quit blogging.

He thinks I’m wasting my time and talent on an unpaid activity.

He doesn’t understand about writing practice, my love of the blogger community and my desperate need for attention.

And for the good of our marriage and family, I have to see his point. I mean, I do stay up too late/skip cleaning/let the children watch too much TV just so that I can blog more. So, this will be my last post. I just want you all to know how much I love you and will miss reading you every day.

*April Fool! Like Hubby would demand that I do anything! Especially quit blogging, as he knows it’s often the tenuous thread between me and sanity. In fact, this post was actually his idea – after I expressed jealousy awe over the success of his April Fool’s post, I have discovered that Scientology is the Best!

Cool News

So last week Vanessa Van Petten wrote a post entitled, “50 Best Mom Blogs”. And get this – I’m on it. No, seriously. There are some damn fabulous blogs on that list (well, they’re probably all fabulous, but I haven’t read them all yet) and I feel like I just got invited to sit at the grown-ups’ table. I don’t actually feel worthy, so I haven’t really done anything about it for a week. But then I realized that Vanessa totally deserves a shout out. And I thought it would seem weird if I praised her post without mentioning that I’m in it. So, um, have I totally negated my cool factor yet?

Well, that’s okay, because I have more coolness: Canadianflake gave me an award.

How cool is that? What I would love to do is give this award to everyone who comments and reads regularly and especially to those of you who have subscribed. But I don’t know who’s subscribed (is there any way to find that out?) and I’m not sure how I’d define “regularly”. But if you feel that you fit into those categories, please assume that I am passing the award on to you. And those of you that are on my Google Reader, whose blogs I read and comment on at least every week? The award is for you too. Here. Now go give it to someone else.

Seriously, I can’t narrow down all the people I love in Blogland – there are just too many of you. But I expect to see this award on all of your sidebars/award pages right away. For reals, I really want YOU to have it.

In other cool news, have any of you started watching the John Adams miniseries on HBO? I know I’m a history geek, but it is AMAZING. If you’ve always hated history, watch it and see how compelling it can be. And if you like history, you will LOVE this.

Lost

We lost our internet connection last night. And our cable. And our phone. (bad, evil, windstorm)

I am very proud of myself, because I did not cry. (although if we had lost all power, I’m pretty sure I would have)

Anyway, I am WAY behind in internet land. (because an exciting Saturday night for me is reading blogs)

You’ll have to tune back in next Sunday for Soap Opera Sunday. (you can even tune in before that, I may have some news)

Help! I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Off The Internet

Does anyone remember the John Hughes movie from the ’80’s, Some Kind of Wonderful? I love that movie. And now I’m living it. Unfortunately, I’m the Eric Stoltz character, Keith. If you recall, at the end of the movie, Keith realizes that he’s been in love with his female best friend all along, not the pretty dream girl.

Just like I have discovered that I am love with the internet, after years of prizing my pretty dream girl of a real life.

It all started when Mary Kate encouraged me to try Google Reader at our last book club meeting. I’d never used a reader before, I just had approximately eight million blogs bookmarked on my computer. Granted, my system wasn’t perfect. It took me forever to check all of my bookmarked blogs.

A lot of days it was hard just to get through all the AMAZING people on my blogroll. No, they’re really cool. You should check them out. Although please don’t abandon me when you discover that they’re all better bloggers than I am. Anyway, I decided to begin the painstaking process of putting all my bookmarked blogs into my Google Reader.

Then I started subscribing to everyone who commented here (there’s a little hint, lurkers). I am now subscribed to 96 blogs. Which means that somehow between yesterday afternoon, when I had my new list whittled down to 14, and this morning, all 96 of those bloggers have written new posts. The little number next to Google Reader is (110). In less than 24 hours.

This was going to be a clever post in which I linked to everyone in my Google Reader.

Then I remembered that Dora the Explorer is only twenty-five minutes long. And that I have 110 posts to read.

I’d Like To Thank The Academy. . . .

of Haiku Buckaroos and everyone who voted. Even people who didn’t vote for me. Because you know what? I won Most Disgusting and Most Erotic ANYWAY.

Uh, I mean, it was an honor to be nominated and I’m glad you voted for the best haikus, no matter whose they were.

Because no matter what YOUR feelings on the matter, I get to display this:

And let me also thank Leslie, who was able to pull off this contest while being pregnant, mother of the amazing Julia, Etsy goddess, fantastic baker and great blogger.

In addition to being a Haiku Buckaroo, I have also had the honor of being tagged by the wonderful Silken for the six word memoir meme.

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir.

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.

3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.

4. Tag five more blogs with links. (And here Jerseygirl rebels by tagging no one. If you want to do it, join in.)

5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

My Six Word Memoir Is: Did You Really Just Say That?

My visual:

(I don’t know. This was hard. If you have suggestions for me, feel free to leave them in the comments.)

Wow, That Was Fun

I stole this idea from the fabulous Swistle, who copied it from And You Know What Else. I know she got it from someone else and that I could keep linking back, but if you really want to know where it all started you should just keep linking back until you get there. Because I’m too lazy to link it all back on my blog today.

Anyway, the cool idea is this: Make a list of things you HAVEN’T said to people in your life. The things unsaid need to be directed to specific people, but you should not say to whom they are directed. Also, you should leave out the back story. Just let your list speak for itself.

1. You’re walking that dangerous line between “free-spirit” and “drug-addict”, don’t you think?

2. I care about you, but I really don’t need to know every little detail of every single day, especially when they’re filled with people I don’t know.

3. Why did you have to turn into a cute firefighter AFTER we stopped dating?

4. You owe me and every other girl in the neighborhood a deep apology and evidence that you’ve gotten lots and lots of therapy.

5. How come you STILL haven’t finished your dissertation? It’s been ten years.

6. What the hell were you thinking?You knew better. I can’t believe you would do such a thing with other people in the car. I still miss you.
7. I’m sorry, I should have told you I didn’t want to be friends anymore instead of just avoiding your e-mails. But surely you’d noticed we had nothing in common anymore?

8. Actually, I think he’s an asshole. Be careful.

9. Are you this catty and bitchy with everyone or just me?

10. You can’t spell, your grammar is dreadful and you don’t even know the curriculum. We’ve all been covering for you and if you get rid of us this school will fall apart.

11. This is ALL YOUR FAULT.

12. I hope your baby poops on that outfit.