Dirty Little Secret

We have returned. From Kansas. Which I will discuss momentarily.

First of all, thank you to my wonderful mother, who kept my blog going so that I could come home to wonderful comments and a decent sitemeter report.

Secondly, thank you to all of you who commented while I was gone. I would LOVE to go back and respond to each of your comments (especially you fantastic people who delurked for the first time!) but I don’t know if I will since I have a few other things to do (satisfy my itchy blog fingers, read 8,000 blogs, unpack and put stuff away, put my Christmas stuff away, find places for the 8 million new toys the kids got, convince children to make thank you pictures, upload holiday photos, copyread some stuff, grocery shop, do laundry, answer emails. . . oh my god, just writing that list is enough to drive me to the couch).

Third, thank you to my dad for taking us to and picking us up from the airport. Hell is probably EXACTLY like driving to Newark Airport.

And now, let’s talk about our trip.

(A quick preface: I love my in-laws. I really do. They love me and accept my city-girl attitude very well. They are wonderful people.)

On Sunday the 23rd, we flew from Newark Airport to Kansas City. It is a three hour flight. But we were delayed in the airport for six hours first. With a three year old and a 21 month old. Actually, though, they were AWESOME. Lovebug had one crying fit, which was solved when we put him in the stroller and rocked him to sleep. Tons of people came up to us and told us what great kids we had and what wonderful parents we were (not that I’m trying to brag or anything, of course). But I would like to thank all of those people, as well as the family whose elementary school aged boys played catch with my little ones and all of the kind people who smiled and talked to and entertained my kiddos. You all helped us survive that trip.

After landing at KCI (it was around 11 LOCAL time at this point), we were met by my sweet parents- and brother-in-law. Who drove us back to “the farm”. (The farm is not actually a farm, as my in-laws don’t farm or even keep animals. But they could if they wanted to. They live on a gravel road about twenty-five minutes from the nearest town.) An hour and a half away.

For Christmas Eve, we gathered at Hubby’s aunt’s house. My mother-in-law’s side of the family is VAST. She has five siblings, all of whom had at least two children, most of whom also had at least two children. After a while, Lovebug and Ironflower grew overwhelmed so I took them to the guest room to play. And that was the party for us.

On Christmas Day, after the children doubled their toy haul, we went to the home of another of Hubby’s aunts. This is my father-in-law’s side, which is smaller and way more manageable. I actually know all of them. Anyway, Aunt Frankie was there and she was totally sweet to my kids. Maybe I should stop listening to family gossip. Ironflower and Lovebug had the best time playing with her grandsons.

Early the next morning, my brother-in-law went back to Chicago. And we were trapped.

Because we flew there, we had no car. Because of some tickets Hubby got as a teenager, he is still blocked from his parents’ insurance policy (my mother-in-law can hold a grudge) so Hubby couldn’t drive his parents’ car. . Because I did not want to learn how to drive on icy gravel roads in someone else’s car, I couldn’t drive his parent’s car. Because my mother-in-law had to go to work, some days there wasn’t even a car for my father-in-law to drive us in. So there we were, carless in the country.

And with no internet. And barely any cell-phone reception. And hardly any water, because they haul their water and I was afraid of them running out. Which they did on Sunday, so Hubby and his dad had to take care of all that. And it was so cold that we only could play outside once. And even then it was only for half an hour.

We didn’t leave the farm for four days. On Saturday we went into town with my father-in-law, which was fun. Even though all we did was go to the super-market and out to lunch.

Sunday was my night to see a few of my friends.

To be continued. . . .

So, where the heck have I been? We have just embarked on the Z-family World Tour 2007 and let me tell you, it is not easy to drive 1200 miles with two toddlers. We didn’t actually leave until last Wednesday, but Monday and Tuesday were a whirlwind of packing and planning and general hysteria.

The first leg of the trip has been with my parents as we traveled to Ohio for a family reunion. I would love to do descriptions of said family, but as most of them read this I don’t want them to fight over which one is Supermom and which one is Funnymom. I will say that I really miss my cousin Greg who had to work and couldn’t come. This just means we will have to do it again next summer and he will have to quit his job. Tomorrow we will be leaving the land of Meijer’s (imagine Target stuff with Wal-Mart prices, I LOVE it) for Kansas City. There will have a mini-reunion with Hubby’s family and our friends. I am so excited.

But all of this excitement has been hella hard on the children. Ironflower has seriously struggled with napping, which wouldn’t have been so bad if each evening didn’t contain family gatherings. Friday she melted down at my aunt’s house with amazing histrionics, it was unreal. And this was after my aunt had made meatballs in her honor and after I finally got to meet the adorable and well-behaved daughters of my cousin who lives in Virginia. I knew that if Ironflower had to have a tantrum that seemed more like an exorcism that this was the crowd to do it with, but it was still SO embarrassing. Then after Ironflower was calm and her usual appealing self, Lovebug flipped over not being able to climb into the fish pond (we never should have taken him in the hotel pool). I don’t think I got to talk to anyone for more than three minutes.

Yesterday’s gathering was confined to a few minor tantrums (and had the bonus of middle school aged girls eager to babysit) but it did require me to appear in front of the whole extended family in a bathing suit , which wouldn’t have been so bad except that Hubby and I were the only adults to get into my cousins’ pool (my apologies to my cousin Tony, who is technically an adult but since he is the oldest of the following generation and still in college, he just doesn’t count). It’s one thing to go in front of strangers and my immediate family in bathing suit, but I didn’t even like people I know seeing me in a bathing suit when I weighed 100 pounds. I’m just weird like that.

The kids had fun, though. Ironflower got over her fear of “deep” water and was perfectly happy to hang onto me, yelling “Jump!” at frequent intervals. Lovebug enjoyed the water immediately, but only with Hubby. After months of being the only love of his life (okay, maybe it was the nursing boobs), it’s a relief and a disappointment to be kicked to the curb. He remembers me when Daddy tells him “no”, though.

So I apologize for not posting much lately and it will probably be even worse next week when we go to my non-connected in-laws’, but I will promise lots more humiliating anecdotes when I do get a chance to write.

PS Has anyone watched “The Two Coreys” yet? The show about Corey Haim and Corey Feldman?

My Dad keeps sending me articles from the Wall Street Journal about modern parenting. Apparently, my toddlers should be in language classes, music classes and Little Gym. They should have a $1200 swing set and a climbing wall in the basement. And we should be saving up to take them on safari.

Look, I wish we had the swing set and I’m looking into music classes (though I’m really not going to worry much about extra-curricular activities until they are actually following a curriculum). But we’re not going a safari. Even if I win the Lottery.

The Wall Street Journal interviewed parents who took their elementary school-aged kids on African safaris, vacations to Hong Kong and Panama and camping in the Brazilian rainforest. It even listed resources for “Adventure Travel with Kids” - and medical warnings.

Helloooooooooooo? These are the same parents who make their kids where helmets, who make sure playground floors are comfortable enough to sleep on, who complain if a teacher marks their child’s paper in red (yes, this is true, most school districts do not allow teachers to correct in red anymore), who spend their lives making sure their children suffer no consequences or disappointments. . .but they’re willing to shell out thousands of dollars to take their children places that lack safe drinking water and medical facilities?

I believe in travel. I think children should experience the world around them - and not just the sanitized Disney version (though I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to appreciate Disney World). We even travelled to Alaska last summer - with a 19 month old and a 4 month old. But I believe that one of the best things about having kids is encouraging their sense of wonder - at even the simplest things. For most kids, a (reasonable) ride in an airplane is almost as good as the destination. What are 7 year olds who have seen tigers up close going to wonder about anymore? What’s going to be exciting and wonder-ful to ten year olds who have canoed down the Amazon?

But setting aside safety and spoiling concerns, I still have a problem. One of the parents in the article suggested that, “You can’t save the world unless you know what’s in it.” I agree with that, theoretically. But shouldn’t we start with our own country anyway? Have the kids whose parents are showing off ever more fantastical vacations ever been to a farm? Have these kids been to New York City and compared it to Kansas City? Have these kids walked on a glacier in Alaska? Have they been to the Grand Canyon? To Gettysburg? To Washington D.C.? To Mount Rushmore? To a working cider mill? To a rocky beach in Oregon? To a smooth beach in Florida? To New Orleans? To the Freedom Trail? To Las Vegas? To Santa Fe? To Iowa City (I’m not kidding, it’s a wonderful town)?

Before we can ask our children to save our world, we need them to save our country. And if we raise them to think that there’s not much in our country worth seeing, what are we teaching them? They’re not going to save something they don’t respect.

Sorry kids, you’re going to have to go on Safari on your own time. This summer we’re hitting the Jersey shore, Ohio, Illinois and Kansas.

travel
children
vacation

The life of a stay-at-home mom is not what you could call glamorous. Of course, neither was my job as an elementary school teacher. And it’s not that I don’t love being at home with my kids (or didn’t love my students) but sometimes I think, where did I go wrong?
I watch the Travel Channel a lot. It started when my oldest was a newborn and did not like it when I read during breastfeeding. So I started watching TV. And I discovered the show “Great Hotels”. Samantha Brown gets to travel the country and stay in fabulous hotels. Now she has another show where she gets to travel Europe and stay in fabulous hotels. It’s not even like my life of travelling, where staying at Holiday Inn is a big splurge. According to the credits (yes, I am obsessed enough to read the credits) she writes the shows as well. So she gets to travel for free and write. And I assume there’s a salary on top of that (although I would do it for free, should any network honchos be reading). How did she get that job? Did I miss something at my college career fair? Because I’m sure I would’ve signed up for that seminar.
I wish I could be Samantha Brown. Just for a week. Or maybe two. I want to know what it’s like to have a cool job, because I don’t think I’ve ever had one. You can say a lot of wonderful things about mommying and teaching, but I don’t think anyone would come up with “cool”.